Grief Part 2
Continuing the topic on grief. I understand that grief sucks, and it feels awful but often times when we have experienced a loss we may find ourselves acting oddly or feeling pressure to move on or “close up” afterwards. Trying to fill the void that this loved one left. If we lost a pet, we may find ourselves wanting to quickly get a new pet. If we lost a loved one, we may find ourselves making some rushed decisions like buying a house suddenly, or leaving our job hurriedly. Sometimes these changes are helpful to ground us and help us focus on something in our control. BUT often times we can get into hot water when we make these long lasting decisions to fill the void of our loss. Ask yourself if you would be making this decision right now if you weren’t mourning. Or if you can wait a few weeks before following through with quitting your job, getting on that dating app or buying that house. Sometimes these quick decisions actually complicate our grief process, and can often placate our emotions until they bubble out of control.
Instead of acting on these impulses, allow yourself to simply just sit. Seriously. Just sit and feel, un-apologetically. Without plans to change or fix how you feel. It's so unnerving, and such a beautiful way to accept those uncomfortable emotions. It allows you to make room for the ambivalence, sadness, loneliness, and pain. So that they may come and go. Just as everything and everyone does. Our lives have the capacity for amazing things because there is a beginning and an end. We are able to fully love another being because we have the ability to feel the depth of emotion, both sadness and happiness that a relationship or loss of one can bring. Sometimes avoiding the urge to move on quickly can help us honor the lost loved one, it gives depth and gravity to our feelings to them. It allows us to honor their presence in our lives, even if that presence is no longer.
***Originally Posted February 1st 2019 on LVLHolistic’s Instagram page as a collaborative presentation regarding mental health and nutrition***