Dealing with Anxiety in a Loved One……
Anxiety in a loved one
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Alright this is a hard one. We know that we can deeply affect our partners emotions and how they feel, including anxiety. We may also know how hard it can be to be patient with our partners’ anxiety when we've got things to do, and our own emotions.
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Here are some things to keep in mind:
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Validation is so important! You don’t have to understand exactly why your partner is so nervous about their outfit, or that presentation at work, or the latest political news in order to be supportive and empathetic. Simply listen, listen to the their words, and the emotions behind their words, because you have felt that emotion before, most likely. Their worries about that job interview isn’t really about the job, it is about not feeling good enough or not feeling secure in their talents. WHICH WE ALL GET! When you can start looking past the tip of their anxious iceberg, you can start to relate and feel for your partner. AND this my friends is the key to being supportive.
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Begin to understand their triggers. Start noting (kindly) when your partner begins to feel anxious, notice their script that they play out with you, or notice when they begin acting oddly, or more fast paced in their behaviors. Again, do this in a loving and kind way. You know your partner better, so if they are not open to hearing any of this then that’s fine! Instead, suggest a yoga class together, going for a walk when you notice their impatience peaks. OR EVEN BETTER begin sharing your own anxiety and what causes it, even if you don’t find it disruptive, It can help make your partner’s feelings normal and more relatable.
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NEVER diagnose your partner, or minimize their feelings. Don’t say: You’ll be fine, don’t worry about it, you’re being a big baby, I don’t understand why the laundromat would scare you! These types of sentences do the opposite of what you’re wanting. They are shaming, and ultimately shut your partner down. You may not understand it, and that’s okay.
***Originally Posted May 31st 2018 on LVLHolistic’s Instagram page as a collaborative presentation regarding mental health and nutrition***